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Writer's pictureNatalie

Struggles

I had written over 1,500 words on the different questions that I, and many other transgender persons, often get from people. I recognize that most of these people are well-intentioned, but many of the questions that we receive can be extremely inappropriate to ask any person, whether cisgender or transgender. But, as I continued to write, I began to be pulled in a different direction. I assume that those who are reading this are, at the very least, open to learning more about the transgender community. I know that many who may read this, if asked to produce a list of transgender people they know personally, may only be able to list my name. I'm not a voice with a massive audience. I'm not remotely an expert. But, I want to really focus on those who are likely to read this so that maybe I can help them grow in understanding of the struggles my community faces on a daily basis.

I want to start this with an acknowledgement of the lifelong privilege from which I have benefited. While I’m a transgender woman (and yes, transgender women are women), I also recognize that to the world, I lived my first 40 years as a white Christian male in America. Much that I have, to some degree, is the result of said privilege. That privilege is also something that has shielded me from so much that my transgender siblings have had to endure, so I believe I have an obligation to highlight the struggles that are common in our community that the readers may not be aware of since I am the extent of their experience with the transgender community.

Violence:

2020 has been a nightmare in so many ways. We have seen this especially in the transgender community. In 2019, 27 transgender persons were victims of fatal violence. Halfway through 2020, though, we have already seen 21 transgender or non-binary people murdered. This evil disproportionately impacts transgender people of color.

Transgender people, especially black transgender women, are often targets of fatal violence. Adding to the pain that their friends and family suffer after the loss of their loved one, these victims are often misgendered and deadnamed in police and media reports. Acquiring justice for these victims can be a great challenge, especially considering that many of the victims are black and/or poor. As we have seen with the all-too-often incidents of police brutality and the rise of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, ours is a system of justice rife with racism and systemic inequalities. As Bryan Stevenson said, “We have a system of justice in this country that treats you much better if you're rich and guilty than if you're poor and innocent. Wealth, not culpability, shapes outcomes.”

To clarify, I use “justice” here as society views it in the retributive sense. Restorative justice, as I prefer to define it, is not possible when life is taken. But, further complicating that pursuit for justice is the fact that, as of July 2019, only 8 states have passed laws prohibiting the “gay/trans panic defense”. What is this defense? Long story short, it is a defense to murder where the murderer claims that the victim’s sexual orientation or gender identity has created a mental state that caused them to lash out violently, resulting in the death of the victim. They can use this defense to justify killing a gay or transgender person who may flirt with them. Or a transgender person who does not disclose that they are transgender (WE DON’T HAVE TO!). The murderer then becomes consumed with rage and attacks the victim. Now, as the linked article points out, this is not considered an “affirmative defense”, but instead plays upon the prejudices found residing in the hearts and minds of those sitting inside the jury box. In 42 states…84% of this country…you can murder a transgender person and claim they brought it on themselves by not telling you that they were transgender, and the only guard against this is the morality and reason of those sitting on juries.

Transgender persons are also far more likely to suffer from sexual violence. 54% of transgender people have experienced some form of intimate partner violence. Also according to the Human Rights Campaign’s linked report, 47% of transgender people have been victims of sexual assault. 58% of transgender people also report mistreatment at the hands of law enforcement. Please read the linked report. Please. I could take thousands of words to discuss what’s inside, which is not feasible here, but the statistics surrounding the violence our community faces, whether from intimate partners or law enforcement, is alarming. This doesn’t even touch upon the sexual harassment that transgender, and cisgender, often face simply for being women. This harassment is something that has even begun to appear in my social media inboxes almost on a daily basis.

Finally, on violence, we need to remember these beautiful transgender or non-binary souls who have been taken from us this year so far. #SayTheirName:

Dustin Parker

Neulisa Luciano Ruiz

Yampi Mendez Arocho

Monika Diamond

Lexi

Johanna Metzger

Serena Angelique Velazquez Ramos

Layla Pelaez Sanchez

Penelope Diaz Ramirez

Nina Pop

Helle Jae O’Regan

Tony McDade

Dominique Fells

Riah Milton

Jayne Thompson

Selena Reyes-Hernandez

Brayla Stone

Merci Mack

Shaki Peters

Bree Black

Summer Taylor

Employment:

I am an HR Manager. I became an HR Manager while presenting to the world as someone with whom the world felt comfortable…a white male. I recognize, though, that my career may have taken a far different course had I transitioned before becoming an established in my field. I also recognize that my career could evaporate in the blink of an eye because I’m an open transgender woman. Granted, there is now some level of protection with the Supreme Court’s recent decision prohibiting employment discrimination on the basis of gender identity, but as an HR professional I am well aware that such protections are easy to get around. I am in this position though, and regardless of the privilege that paved my way to this role, I understand that I have an opportunity to use my voice and position to help my LGBTQIA siblings as much as possible. Prior to coming out, I had the opportunity to draft our policy on transgender restroom access. I have hired over half of our company, and as a result, was able to provide the employment opportunities for several transgender people that, as you will see, can be very difficult for transgender people to receive. I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, but instead to point out that benefiting from privilege isn’t wrong. Refusing to use that privilege to help those who lack it is though.

Going back to the Human Rights Campaign’s extensive report that was linked above, 30% of transgender persons reported being fired, being denied a promotion, or having faced some other form of mistreatment in the workplace simply due to their gender identity. The struggles the transgender community faces with regards to employment is the driving force behind the fact that the unemployment rate for transgender persons is 3 times higher than that of the general population. Employment insecurity can be directly linked to another major struggle...

Poverty & Homelessness:

This is a very serious problem which, in part, stems from the previously discussed issues of employment insecurity. As with many of these problems, we see this impact people of color at a far higher rate. According to the 2015 US Transgender Survey from the National Center for Transgender Equality, approximately 30% of transgender people surveyed have experienced homelessness in their lifetime. That number goes up to 41% of black transgender people (5 times higher than the general population), 51% for black transgender women, and 59% for indigenous transgender women! If any other group suffered from such high rates of homelessness, we'd march on statehouses across the country. We'd have panels and commissions looking to fix the problem. We'd pass a myriad of programs to attempt to address the problem. But since we're talking about one of, if not the most, marginalized groups in America, we hear nothing but silence.

When people are denied employment because of who they are, it is no surprise that poverty and homelessness will follow. When transgender people are rejected by their families, they often lose the safety net that guards against homelessness. According to the Human Rights Campaign’s 2018 Gender-Expansive Youth Report, less than 25% of trans/gender-expansive youth feel safe being themselves at home. Let that sink in. 3 out of 4 transgender youth feel unsafe in their own homes. Nearly 75% have heard family make negative comments about LGBTQIA people. Only 16% feel safe at school. This is even more damning! Every morning, young people leave homes in which they do not feel safe so they can go to a school in which they are even more concerned for their safety. This fact makes it no surprise that 42% of trans/gender-expansive youth have been threatened with physical violence because of their gender identity.

When you do not feel safe at home or school, you not only lose that safety net that family traditionally provides, but you often see that fear result in higher drop out rates from school. Without family or an education, homelessness and poverty often results. Without support, education, or economic/employment opportunities, many transgender people turn to sex work simply as a means of survival. In 2018, according to the HRC report previously linked, there were 26 known acts of fatal violence against transgender people. 14 of those victims are believed to have died while performing survival sex work. I want to stress that this is often SURVIVAL sex work. It’s easy to hurl stones at sex workers, but for many, it can be an act of survival. The criminal status of sex work only exacerbates the problem, as criminal records create yet another barrier to gainful employment opportunities. So the cycle will continue, trapping transgender people in a world of insecurity and violence.

Healthcare:

This is yet another area of grave concern for the transgender community. The Supreme Court, while extending protection to the transgender community in the area of employment security, turned around and stripped such protections from us in the area of healthcare. Transgender persons can now be denied healthcare access simply for our gender identity. Think this is never going to happen? Read about the case of Tyra Hunter. As she lay on the ground after a car accident, EMT's laughed at her and mocked her once they discovered she was a transgender woman. She died from injuries that she should have survived. This is not an outlier. According to a recent survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, "19% of transgender and gender-nonconforming people have been refused care outright" due to their gender identity. This, and the following statistics can be found here: 10 Stats You Need to Know About LGBT Healthcare.


According to studies referenced in the link above, 56% of LGBTQIA individuals have been discriminated against while seeking medical treatment. Also just as disconcerting is the lack of knowledge that many healthcare providers have with regards to transgender patients. Nearly 6 out of 10 transgender people have to explain to the trained medical personnel "certain aspects of transgender-specific medical necessities". The case Jay Kallio is a sad example of how this ignorance of healthcare providers can cost transgender patients their lives. LGBTQIA individuals are also far more likely to postpone medical care due to fear of discrimination, and that is even more profound among LGBTQIA people of color.


Suicide:

While my privilege has given me the ability to avoid many of the challenges my transgender siblings face on a daily basis, this is an area with which I am well acquainted. Approximately 40% of transgender adults report having attempted suicide. This number is often used by transphobic individuals as evidence of the inherent “wrongness” of being transgender. 83% of transgender youth reported feelings of hopelessness, and 39% of transgender adults, when surveyed, were experiencing serious psychological distress. The question we need to ask ourselves is why are so many transgender youth feeling so hopeless? Is it their gender identity, or is it widespread social rejection including from their own families?

Why are we surprised at these alarming numbers when we live in a society where families reject their transgender, or LGBTQIA, children? When we live in a society in which employment opportunities are denied to them? When many are condemned to a life of poverty because of both personal and professional rejection? When people feel hopeless, they are also far more likely to fall prey to substance abuse. According to a study on LGBT youth and family acceptance, the level of parental acceptance or rejection has a direct impact on the youth’s acceptance, or struggles, with their sexual or gender identity. The study also found parental rejection has a negative impact on the health of both transgender and cisgender LGBTQIA youth. Parental rejection predicts levels of depression, suicidal thoughts, and sexual risk behaviors. Want to drive down the rate of suicide in the transgender community? Affirm and love us for who we are, not who you wish we would be.

I could go on and on, as this is just a drop in the bucket. None of this post even covers the relentless social media hatred and bigotry we face (looking at you JK Rowling and other trans-exclusionary individuals). As I said throughout, I haven’t had to deal with many of these struggles because I transitioned so late after having already established myself in a career. If I am the only transgender person you know, please don’t look at my life and consider it as being remotely close to the norm for transgender people. That’s why I continually recommend reaching out to other transgender people from which to learn. If you’d like some suggestions, please let me know. There are some great voices out there, who are far more qualified to speak on these issues than I am.


But, I’ve been blessed beyond measure. Heather’s and my families, for the most part, have either accepted me or stayed quiet and left us alone. Granted, I know there are homes I won’t be allowed to visit anymore. I know there are children I’ll no longer be allowed to see again. But the fear and bigotry at that root of those negative reactions has limited itself to quiet opposition, as opposed to open violence and hatred, and unfortunately for them, it has locked them into a prison of their own creation. I love them, and my heart hurts for them. But, the only way to combat that is through education. Learn about the struggles that most of our community face on a daily basis before judging us. In fact, don’t judge us at all. Just love us. That alone would do wonders in changing the world for the LGBTQIA community.

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