I give up.
There it is. I just can’t do this anymore. I can't try to engage anymore. I speak. I scream. I beg my fellow Christians, especially Christian leaders, to listen to the voices of trans people. It plays out the exact same way every single time:
Tweet something that’s not supported by science, that’s rejected by every major medical association in the US, or just share the words of bigots like self-described “theocratic fascist” Matt Walsh, or Helen Joyce, or Preston Sprinkle, etc.
Other trans people and I respond
***Crickets***
Anti-trans people (almost always cishet white man) respond to pat them on the back for saying something with which they agree
Christian “leader” responds with a self-righteous “thank you”
There’s a major problem in the church when it comes to the discussions surrounding trans people. There's a noticeable absence of actual trans people in these discussions. The problem isn’t so much one of being “non-affirming”. The problem is worse than that. It’s one thing to be non-affirming. It’s another thing to obsessively talk ABOUT a group…a historically marginalized group…while refusing to talk TO those within that group. It’s one thing to be non-affirming. It’s another thing to ignore the pleas of people who are screaming that your words cause pain. When you find yourself only engaging with those with whom you agree, then you are no longer a “leader”. You are no longer someone who can effectively pastor a body, or educate a student. Albert Mohler is notoriously bad about this, but I’m noticing it even among those whom I have long respected.
During a time in which we’re seeing rising threats of violence against LGBTQIA+ people, I’m seeing people I have long considered to be “good” contribute to the rhetoric that is fueling this rising violence. In the past few weeks, we’ve seen 31 members of a white supremacist group arrested after their plans to riot at a Pride event in Idaho was thankfully thwarted. We’ve seen a father in Vermont threaten to shoot school officials if his child so much as sees a trans person. We've seen bomb threats made to libraries and schools for having Pride displays or hosting drag queens. We’ve seen gay clubs attacked by protestors. We’ve seen homes set on fire in Baltimore after Pride flags were burned in the middle of the night. There’s probably not a single “out” LGBTQIA+ person who hasn’t been accused of “grooming” children in the past year. We’re seeing a growing number echo the thoughts of bigots like Walsh who believes that my transition, even as a grown adult, should be illegal. I’ve seen a growing number of conservative voices begin using words like “round-up”, "ban", or “camps” when talking about LGBTQIA+ people.
This rhetoric is fueling violence, to the point that I even had to talk to my wife and daughter about what to do at Pride in case there’s a “worst case” scenario. I couldn’t attend, and I was concerned because this is a fear that we’re seeing across the country due to recent events. Words matter. Rhetoric matters. They can harm one’s mental health, but they can also incite others to violence. This is what we’re seeing across the country, and many leaders within my own faith are knowingly, or even unknowingly, fueling it along. “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is absolute garbage.
When you portray trans people as some nefarious enemy, you will incite violence against us. When you falsely accuse trans people of coming for children, you will incite violence against us. No trans person wants a cisgender child to transition. Not to mention, there’s no such thing as “transing” a child. We know what it’s like to have the wrong hormones coursing through our body. We would NEVER wish that hell upon anyone. Being trans is not a social contagion. What we want is a society where trans kids can be trans kids. What we want is to be heard. What we want is to be left alone because our dignity and humanity are recognized. What we want is for doctors, not politicians, to be part of our healthcare. I’m not demanding you hold to an affirming theology. I’m demanding that you listen to actual trans voices when you are discussing trans issues. If you can’t do that…if you can’t just listen to those with whom you may disagree or not understand, then at the very least shut up!
Or as I keep saying over and over to my fellow Christians who refuse to engage: STOP TALKING ABOUT US, AND START TALKING WITH US!